Happy Birthday To Me...

+---------- Bizarre Excuses for Calling in Sick -----------+

[These are actual excuses workers gave for missing work.]

* I was sprayed by a skunk.
* I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
* My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
* I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
* I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
* I couldn't find my shoes.
* I hurt myself bowling.
* I was spit on by a venomous snake.
* I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
* A hit man was looking for me.
* My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hair- dresser.
* I eloped.
* My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
* My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
* I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
* I forgot what day of the week it was.
* Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
***